Counting our Blessings

What a day last Friday was. That morning it seemed nearly impossible to believe that we would soon be driving away from the hospital as we had done countless times over the past 5 1/2 months, and this time Cailin would be with us. The emotions were overwhelming and surprising. Most odd was a slight sense of sadness, which I suppose was masking fear. It was nice having doctors and nurses at your disposal to ask questions, retrieve a bottle, reassure you that Caili is just fine. Leaving that safe environment was frightening.

But leave we did!
It was such a joy to drive her home! And it's continued to be a joy. She's up to 8 1/2 pounds as of yesterday, and to us she's seeming like a normal term baby with the exception of her monitor and her canula--which keeps her on a 7 foot tether to a tank of oxygen. She's sleeping well, eating well, doing well. Having her home seems almost too good to be true! We've published some homecoming pictures here.

Looking back on the the last five months, it's hard to believe that we've finally reached this point of the journey. There were some incredible lows, that even now make me gasp for air to think about. Yet she is home and thriving, despite the odds that were stacked against her from the moment she was conceived.

We are so fortunate, and that was never more clear than now, as we recently learned that another of Caili's neighbors from her first days in the NICU lost her struggle with life earlier this week. Her parents were strong, determined, inspirational. Our hearts break for them. Their little angel, Christopher and Cailin were side by side in Jefferson's NICU for the first several months of Caili's life, along with another baby boy that has since gone home, all 24 weekers. They were the first three families we met in the NICU, and they all offered incredible support, as they had already been there for months prior to Caili's arrival. The fact that two of those three families never got to take their babies home is incomprehensible. Both were in the NICU more than half a year; so much time, so much heartache.

Obviously there is no answer as to why our baby has come home to us when too many other parents we've met along the way have been deprived of that joy, robbed of their beloved children so quickly after their arrival. It's not fair, and truthfully there is little to distinguish our situation from theirs. Like them, we were blessed with the best care available, wonderful support and an incredibly determined baby. We were just lucky.

In addition to the sorrow, our time as NICU parents also brought incredible wonder to our lives. The good in people has never been so plainly obvious: all of you and your support, prayers, kind words, favors, gifts, etc.; the dedication and skill of Cailin's caregivers at Jefferson and DuPont; the inspiration of other families we've met along the way; the strangers making dinner every night for the families like us at the Ronald McDonald house; and on and on. The kindness we've experienced has been astounding.

As we read the messages left thus far in Cailin's guestbook, it's moving beyond words. To know that so many people are in her corner, praying for her, rooting for her, sharing in our effort to will her to good health; it's truly awesome. This is a time for counting one's blessings, and ours are innumerable, all of you being chief among them.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. May God Bless all of you as He has blessed us with Cailin. And may He watch over those that never got to go home, and be with their families as they attempt to continue on through their unimaginable loss.